my journey - karen desautels

In 2012, after a sudden move from an over-scheduled lifestyle in Connecticut to a quiet small town in Vermont, the spirit world barged through the door of my new life. Being a decades-old lapsed Catholic with no spiritual background, I was starting at ground zero. I had never meditated, didn't know what the chakra system was, and only thought the aura was an element of fantasy. Because spirituality presented itself as voices, I sought the help of a medium and thought this was my new purpose in life, speaking to the dead. Later I learned that clairvoyance is only a tool necessary for the individuation (self-actualization) process. However, honing my clairvoyance and psychic abilities while learning about energy healing and metaphysics provided a solid foundation for my spiritual awakening which would end up lasting over a decade.

At the beginning of the journey, the spirit readings I was giving had an air of counseling for which I felt unqualified. I attended an interfaith seminary to learn about different practices, doctrines, and the energies of many of the world's religions. This enabled me to better understand the people sitting before me who were hoping to hear messages from their departed loved ones. 

As I progressed further into my process, my experiences became violent on all levels - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. At this point, I was dealing with ancestral and collective unconscious material which required the fire of alchemy to purge this unseen content from every cell of my body. I was in a full-blown Kundalini awakening. 

To work my way through this part of the process, often called the transfiguration and crucifixion, I studied everything I could on kundalini energy. I started to see a Jungian analyst for dream work which plunged me into depth psychology and spiritual alchemy. I read old alchemical texts and studied the writings of CG Jung and his counterparts who translated Jung's very difficult-to-understand volumes of works. However, it was the alchemy of the ancients as seen in the Emerald Tablet and the work of the Rosicrucians that resonated with every cell of my being. I could see my process in the beautiful woodcut images of the Rosarium Philosophorum which served as my map for individuation. Now, when I work with individuals, I can see where they are on the same map and I'm able to help them more effectively and profoundly.  

I now have to say that the tools I used to contain my process no longer contain me. A person who has done much work will get to a point where spirituality is only between themself and God. The tools are here to ground us in times that can surely be tumultuous, and help to refine our perception and communication with the God within. These manmade tools - religions, spiritual practices, and sciences, eventually outlive their usefulness. 

I am proud to say that now I am nothing - Not-One-THING. In recent years I have turned to theosophy, the combined study of all philosophies, religions, and sciences, to help educate myself on the structure and creation of consciousness. From my experiences, I see the evolution of the soul as a three-stage process. In mystical Christianity, it is purgation, illumination, and union. In Alchemy the stages are stones - the white stone, the red stone, and the resurrection stone. In Theosophy and Eastern esoteric thought the stages are seen as the purification of the three subtle bodies - the astral, etheric, and physical. In Kaballah, the ascension process is the piercing of three veils - the veil of the profane, the veil of Paroketh, and the Veil of the Presence of the Ancient of Days. At their core, all the stories are the same, but beautiful in their own way. I would love to help you find your map of peace and happiness.